The woman I wish knows how much I adore her...

 Where do I begin? Ever since I can remember I have been told that I have a sharp tongue and a wit and that I will never be able to fit into the mold that society expects me to. In all honesty, I have been hearing this ever since I started voicing out my views, ideas, and opinions. I cannot deny the fact when I say, this is one of the very few reasons why I was skeptical about making friends, I have always been an object of discussion because they were not able to relate to me and I cannot blame them as I have never been able to relate to them. I remember I was 16 when I first found her, my mom and I saw a movie that was an altered version of her book. Upon my efforts, I found her in my school library in the dustiest sections and got hold of her. Ever since I found her, my life has never been the same and I am eternally grateful that she never stopped writing. Let me give you a hint, the first book I read was 'Pride and Prejudice', if you are someone who has the least interest and knowledge of English Literature and its classics, you know the woman. Jane Austen! 

Of all her works 'Pride and Prejudice' is still my favorite because I am more of Elizabeth Bennett than I have been Anne or Emma or Fanny or Catherine. One of the reasons being I can completely relate to her and how I solely believe that "Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony, which is why I will end up an old maid" (😂 it is true). And how I want it to be "you have bewitched me body and soul. I love, love, love you" and not "I love you". some may call it standards but I call it 'love and conviction'. I cannot help but also fall in love with all the classics after I found JA, I love and adore 'Little women', 'Jane Eyre, and almost all the work of Bronte, and words would never suffice to tell how much I love Keats. This is not an ode to these legends, their work is doing the talking and they don't need recognition by an amateur writer like me, but this is another confession of how this woman made me feel less alone and gave me confidence that this 20th-century work failed to do. 

If you are a regular reader of this space you know how much of an old soul I am and how my heart screams all things vintage, when I first started reading JA I thought it was my love and yearning for regency and victorian era that made me more attached than I thought it will. But with time, I understood that it is the irony of how what a woman in the 1700s felt and expressed can still be felt and understood and the reliability of it all to a woman living in the 2000s. Don't come at me saying that I am a stark feminist or that we both have some high/unrealistic expectations...because either way, I wouldn't deny it. I am a proud feminist and I have expectations about the man I will fall in love with and get married to and also how it is not your place to have a comment or say in that. No offense though! 

We all have opinions and it is a sign of knowledge to the least, as long as we keep the opinions to benefit others and make sure it doesn't become judgemental and takes the best of us- all is well indeed. Coming back to my undying love for this woman...if not for her feministic perspective and the outspoken ability to be her fierce, loving, and sensitive self...I'd never be the person that I am today. Like Captain Wentworth said "I am half agony and half hope", I am both a romantic and a feminist and it really takes a Darcy William to understand this and love someone like me. And the Elizabeth Bennett in me never rushes this, for something this strong cannot be rushed. 

If not for her or Bronte or Alcott, I'd be drowning in self-pity and sadness for being single in this millennium. They are my saviors and how everything that is logical, complex, and beautiful about me screams their name and their work. Austen helped me embrace the complicated self that engulfs the hopeless romantic, a bookworm, and a feminist in me without having to shrink myself into the mold that was never made for me in the first place. She gave me the strength to find comfort in my solitude, to write my heart out, and how love will always find its way back home. 

Dear Jane Austen, 

This heart can contain only a little love, or I thought so. But ever since I found you, my love has been ever-growing and ever-expanding with love and only love. I love you most ardently, your voice gave me the strength to voice out mine and it is your writing that made me read and write and how this is the only way I know I can touch you. I have spent days, weeks, and sometimes even months holding on to your work...they always give me hope and they always told me that the 'ending is always going to be happy and beautiful'. Your existence is something I am most grateful for and your work is something I will take with me to my grave. 

"You have bewitched my body and soul...I love, love, love you...most ardently"

-Pranavi J

"all my enemies started out friends"

Damn ! Thanks to TS for the title (:P) ! Also low-key gloating that I am a swiftie! So, you might have guessed what this is about- if not, it is about how the cliché "Quality over Quantity" is really making sense right now. Ever since I remember, I have always been picky when it comes to making friends, mainly because I have trust issues (No, there's nothing wrong with admitting, it is what it is). It takes a really long time for me to trust someone, to open up (my soul and mind) and mainly, no communication or miscommunication is a deal breaker. I talk, talk and talk till I get clarity over any subject for that instance and trust me, I am an introvert. I'm not sure if I am jinxed because, even with me being extremely picky I some how end up choosing the wrong ones. After living 27 years of my life, with consciously choosing friendships for the past 10 years, taking some friendships granted for almost 15 years...I have only one person whom I can call as my "best friend". I've never been someone who draws a line between friends and acquaintance, anyone who is not my close friend is an acquaintance (main reason why I don't have many friends - no regrets though!). I am not good at making conversations, for the sake of it or just to hold on to something. If we don't get along- we don't (sorry not sorry!). 

I wasn't like this though, but time changes people in a way we least expect. Thanks to the ones who started out as my friends, became my best friends then and now- total and complete strangers. May be strangers who shared a lot, who loved a lot and who knew to break each other like it is nothing, who knew each other's weak spot and made sure we stabbed right on the spot. THANK YOU, NEXT! I wish you nothing but only love and peace for you, and that I never get to meet or hear about you as long as I shall live. No hate, No regret- just some insane hurt! Anyways, this is not about you humans ! It is about how, I've not been at my sanity over the past few weeks because I am not good at handling losing people (If you know, you know). And how I have come to realize that this messy phase is somewhat necessary to move forward. 

Why is it, it hurts so much to lose a friend? May be, it is because it is the first conscious relationship we choose for ourselves. We are ourselves when we are with them, without any inhibition, we lay our soul naked to them, we give them access to the most sensitive part of ourselves- all with one hope. That they will treasure this as much as we do. You may think, this sounds like a romantic relationship rather than a friendship, well- don't you love your friends? Because, one of the pros of being an introvert and being very calculative about the people I chose is that, I give my complete attention, time, love and effort to the very few. I most definitely don not expect them to reciprocate this, but I inadvertently expect them to acknowledge this. I have been friends with the most extroverted people and I never question how they chose to express their time and love, I only do when they ask me to become one ! Thankfully, none of my best friends (who were extroverts) never asked me to. 

Coming to the phase, the one's I chose as best friends never did leave me...it has always been me. I chose to leave them (damn! I am a bad person- you think!). I chose to leave them, cut the ties off or whatever we choose to call it...I did what I did because, at some point in our lives I realized that we are very different and we were not appreciating each other's differences, the priorities changed, communication started to take a hit, claimed we don't have boundaries with each other but you built a huge wall and made sure I don't have the access in, you said we don't have any secrets but turns out it did and I respect your privacy but not at the cost of you choosing to lie to me. You still made sure that we had something to hang on to, we do my love, we do! The memory of how you'll always be the person I choose to love with all my heart, made you my family (god! that shit hurts! every one who knows me- knows you!), made you hold my sofi (you know how much of a big leap it is to me), you knew I valued your friendship more than anything, you knew it all...my insecurities, my deepest fears and how you knowing it all was my strength! And how you choose to let all this go in flames when you built that wall and wanted to call me your best friend only for the sake of it, you wanted me as a decorative while you were very much alive and breathing in my life. 

And you expected me to stand with you while you made me feel like shite! That is when I chose to walk away, I don't want to stand in the way of you becoming a whole new person, I don't want to be the thing that holds you back! And I am no one to comment on the change, same way it is not up to you to comment on why I chose to let you go ! Be free, my love! (It is more than one person though, and I called all the 3 of you as "my love"). I still love you and god, I still miss you! But me choosing to stay in your life is going to do no good for the both of us, some how you made me feel like I am holding you back...that I am not worth your friendship. May be, I am not worthy of it and it'd have been a relief if you had told me this in a year or two rather than taking a decade or half ! 

As much as I miss sharing my strangest dreams with you, telling the silliest and weirdest thought that crosses my mind, you being the first person to know any good news, your hug, your valentine messages, fighting with your best friends to be the first person to wish you on your birthday, you telling me 'it is going to be alright', you mentioning how I should marry the one who will move mountains for me and how we planned to live, laugh, love and die as 80 year olds...I miss the person you were, the one you used to be! And when I see the one you become now, I look at you with awe! And I hope you feel the same way when you look at me, I'd never have it in me to hate you, to un-love you and all I ask for you is not to turn into my enemy as they used to...! 

This growth, this distance, this messy phase...we are never going to look at each other the way we used to, and I send you strength if you are fighting something and here's my love for you to live a happy life the way we always dreamed of, even if we are not in each other's we are who we are right now because of each other. I will cherish all the moments we had together, all the time you cried when I cried and how I bawled like a baby when you began to cry, our sleep overs, our crazy singing and how we laughed our hearts out as if there is no tomorrow and how you know all my crushes and how you disapproved each and every one of them and how I will always be okay with the one you chose to love...and how I know you will go heights ! You were my best friend but you will always be a beautiful human. We grew apart to grow, not to hate each other for moving in different ways. 

"I have been the archer and I have been the prey!" 

 

Love, or something like that !

With the V-day around the corner, a hopeless romantic (me) is really restless. I cannot help but wonder if it is the peer pressure around the relationship paradox or the biological clock ticking ! Either way, as much as I romanticize life and every bit of love in it...I am very skeptical when it comes to "relationship". May be I am not someone who can be easily swept off one's feet or may be I have some high standards or may be I want the Chivalry and equality at the same time and how both have been misunderstood lately! So, anyways...What keeps me going is the sweet, cheesy and definitely cliché rom-com movies ! 

Did you guess the movie I am going to talk about? If you are my mom or my close friend you'd have guessed it right ! Because lately it is the only movie I have been talking about! "To all the boys I have loved" ! And the more I think of why I like it so much, I cannot come up with one particular reason. It might be the aesthetics, may be LJ is someone I can relate so much to and may be because I really really love to have PK as a boyfriend. Why is it, to quote Carrie..."Why do we let the one thing we don't have affect how we feel about all the things we have?". And it is not the Peter I miss in my life, but the fact how he stood with a boom box outside Jean's house (that is a real winner, ya'll!). For me, that is chivalry in the millennium, to do what makes your girl happy! And I know very well that "Perfect boys only exist in the books", that one's a bummer but can't help but fall in love with the moments that makes me feel that love, or something like that is still alive and there is hope for it ! 

 

And coming back to the movie, as much as LJ found her "love" in 16...not everyone is lucky that way. Especially for someone who was so sure of falling in love with only a vampire through out high school (please, don't even ask!). Though I don't regret it, I wish I had met someone who is as charming as Peter Kavinsky or Troy ( sorry I have been watching rom-com's ever since I got access to the TV remote). But then considering how extremely calculative I am, when it comes to people and relationships, it is not a wonder that I did not meet my Peter or Troy, worse I would've definitely let them slip ! No regrets though, because for me it is more of a life time deal- once you are in you are in for one hella ride, no stepping back! Let's face it, relationship of any sort involves effort and time and it is important that we choose the person we love irrespective of what comes ahead. Considering the number of divorces happening around, it feels like waiting and taking time to make this big life decision not in rush sounds like the right thing to do ! Just because other's timeline looks or seems faster than our own, doesn't mean we are standing still or moving slow...like the theory of relativity, we all view the world relative to our surroundings. 

As much as I love watching this movie, I'd trade anything to have something as real and as strong their love is, or Bhim and Hidimba's or Noah and Allie's, or Carrie and Big's or Christian and Ana's (see what I did here?) or Edward and Bella's or Augustus and Hazel's or Hermoine and Ron's or O'Connel and Eve's (see again :P ). I hold all these characters so close to my heart and I lived their life vicariously, and that is how I keep my inner hopeless romantic alive. Let's face it, until I meet the one, this is how I fall in love, live in love and sometimes I die too ! Love, in all it's glory is something to be celebrated all day every day! Having just one day to love, in a way looks like we are belittling it ! I am in love, with life...every minute and every second of it. Curating it with the best people who promise to not break my heart and with the ones who tender the sweet gestures of love! 

Here's me wishing you to live this amazingly beautiful life filled with love, or something like that ! 💟

Daenerys Targaryen

This is definitely not an eulogy for my most favorite character on Game of Thrones  but a small tribute for the years I have traveled with her(Please don't read this if you haven't seen the final episode yet). Undeniably Season 8 has poor writing as it never satisfied the hunger it gave me from Season 1-7 , but I did cry my heart out to see this character die, I know there is no happily ever after in game of thrones and they made it clear that she will be gone in the end, but still that couldn't stop me from bawling my eyes out. So here's the reason of why I love her the most despite the fact that she is flawed, yet beautiful in her own way.

A beautiful girl with silver hair and violet eyes.
Of all the characters, Daenerys is the one who rose close to my heart because she allowed me to take a lot of learning from her. From being sold (literally losing one's identity) to sitting on the Iron throne, the journey she has been through gave me so much to learn from. Ever since the first scene I had a haunch that this girl is going to be something, the pain in her eyes said it all. She was seen as a mere property or a tool for succession by her brother, she had no say about the decisions of her life. She was a mere puppet in the hands of her so called blood line.

May be we all have to be put through so much dirt only to discover the beautiful flower we have always been, just in her case she is a wild flower. Strong yet vulnerable. I stared to become a fan of this show only after Dany fell in love or should I say ...rose in love with the sun and the stars of her life Khal Drogo. 

And as they say the beauty of good things is that they don't last forever and that's why we yearn it the most. Dark days spun upon this beautiful girl who had just found the love of her life and was so relieved that her life has completely taken shape. She taught me that true love will show yourself to you like a mirror, it will show you what's holding you back, the truth that what has happened could never be undone and most of all, true love will tear your walls and smack you awake. The moment she thought she lost him was the moment she discovered who she is. The mother of Dragons, she realized that it is her destiny to make this world a better place. And there this beautiful girl, Khaleesi and the mother of Dragons starts her journey. 

When you start the journey towards achieving your dreams, you will then know what it takes to be the person you've always wanted to be. You can't expect all the people to believe in your dream and support you no matter how much you convince them, a few  wouldn't believe it just because they are scared to see the truth and the beauty of your dream. Dany's journey wasn't laid in flowers, she had to get her hands drenched in blood and stand strong just to make sure that she can't be crippled to the ground just because she is a girl with the dream. Dragons were both her strength and weakness and how vulnerable can a woman be with no trustworthy people around her?

She was vulnerable, but that doesn't made her to stop and question her dreams, she believed in her destiny and that was more than enough for the universe to love her. We will know when we are moving closer to our dreams because the universe will conspire towards it by bringing us close to those who share the same dream as we do. 

She became "Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons”.  

Most of all, she gained a best friend and an adviser whom she trusted with all her might.

Universe will always test the person with the stubborn heart and a huge dream, Daenerys was put through the test of her life , just to see her stumble. Because, they say love is blind for a reason, it blinds you, it eclipses your dream and makes you go weak on the knees, no matter if the whole world has bent its knee for you, you will go weak for that particular person. And there could never be a question of right and wrong, love can never be wrong....can it be?

But like most women, Daenerys Targaryen failed to understand that sometimes the person we want the most isn't the one who deserves us and no amount of love can change that. And what was the price she paid for this undeserving love she yearned for? Her Dragon, Her best friend, Her most loyal soldier and a threat to her dream. And her own people conspiring behind her back with the idea that it should always be a man to rule.

What do you think happens to the person that grew up with insecurities about her identity, who suffered a fate she didn't chose to, who had a dream and is so close to get hold of it just to know that people who she thought has stood by her thinks she's undeserving of living that dream? And most of all, love can wreck a person in a way it could never be repaired. 

I am definitely not justifying her actions but it is understandable of why she has done that. She was denied of love when she wanted the most, she was forced to stand alone when she wanted people around her. Never could I let go of the idea that she was killed in the hands of the person she loved the most, stabbed in the heart that loved him the most. The way her only remaining dragon breathed out fire to burn the IRON THRONE and not burning Jon alive left me wondering if he has loved him as well. Drogon has my heart for proving that it is always safer to love an animal more than a human, for they would never stab you in the heart.

When you play the game of thrones, you either win or you die. It is over now and it does feels different to know that the character I loved the most is dead and that I don't get to see her shout "Dracarys" anymore. But none of it will change the fact the Daenerys Targaryen is and will be one of my most loved fictional characters and my most favorite one in the GAME OF THRONES. 

He died everyday to let her breathe…

She was a wild flower; she was a free bird, an independent soul. Little did she know she could be broken, that she is naïve and more fragile. She firmly believed that no one could steal the sparkle from her until she met him. Why did they meet? Both wondered. He began to steal her sparkle day by day and she felt loved to lose her sparkle for him. He was her biggest weakness; she was his reason for existence. Two poles met at a point...letting go of themselves. She fell for something that kills her; she was in love with the pain. She believed the pain is love. He was capable of giving her nothing but pain, he could not have her he knows very well. He could not touch her for his touch will burn her. It was neither his fault nor hers but of the stars that set them together. She was night and he was the day, clouds wonder how they fell in love with their differences. Love of this kind is beautiful isn’t it? Never do they say to each other the good old ‘I love you’…but when they both exchange glances the whole sky will be lit with light. They both owed each other every single breath yet they owed nothing. They despised summer and Winter for they never allow them both to be together…they have to wait till spring, Spring was their most favorite time because that is when they can finally be together even it was for an hour or so. They have to wait for a year to kiss each other…and when they do the entire world stares in awe. And we name the occasion as “eclipse”. The story of the sun who died everyday to let her breathe. 

Nala Dhamayanthi..!!!

Have you ever believed in love without having seen each other before? Well I don't until I came across this love story that happened centuries ago in the age of "Dwaparayuga". 

There was this king named 'Nala' who was a gifted charioteer and a brave king. The kingdom prospered under his rule. Despite being the most handsome men of that time he still remained unmarried. One day he caught a swan and when the swan begged for its life he asked the swan to spread his valor to places the swan visits. The swan promised the same and started to sing songs about King Nala. Wanting Nala to get married a brahmin came to his court. The brahmin said he wants to check the artistic skills of King Nala and hence suggested the name "Dhamayanti" to him. Nala drew the potrait of a girl and named her Dhamayanti, little did he know that there was a princess named Dhamayanthi the daughter of King Vidharbha. Nala fell in love with the potrait even without seeing her. 

On the other side the swan visited the kingdom of Vidharbha and started singing the songs of Nala. The Princess wanted to have the swan for its gift of singing and its beautiful appearance.The swan was taken to the kingdom and the princess listened to the tales of King Nala all day and inadvertently fell in love with him. As they say "Marriages are decided in heaven" the time has come and King Vidharbha invited Nala along with other kings to atten the Suyamvara of Princess Dhamayanti. Dhamayanthi was so beautiful and it was believed even the Gods wanted to marry her. So the invite was sent to everyone. Knowing her love for Nala the Gods Indra, Kali disguised themselves as Nala and gave Dhamayanti the challenge of finding the true Nala. 

Dhamayanthi not only good in looks but also sharp in brains found Nala with a trick. She choosed the one who had shadow (as it is believed that Gods don't have shadows). But Kali then angrily vows to the cause of the downfall of King Nala. Kali from then waited for the chance to bring Nala down. After 12 years of marriage Kali sent his brother Pushkara to play the game of dice with King Nala. And as Kali wanted Nala lost the game and was abandoned to forest. In the forest Nala and Dhamayanthi lived happily and that is where she discovered the culinary skills of her husband and fell in love with him even more. In the forest Nala saved a naga from fire, the naga was Karakotaka who returned the favor by giving him the boon of disguising. Nala abandoned Dhamayanthi concerned about her safety and left to the kingdom of Rituparana and started to work as a chef. Knowing this Dhamayanthi's father came to her rescue but she wanted to find her husband back. 

Hence she asked her father to arrange a festival where she wanted the greatest cooks of all the kingdom to participate. Nala was disguised as Vahuka a dwarf working in the kitchens of King Ritupurana. Dhamayanthi was waiting on her balcony listening to the hoof beats as the carriages passed her palace. She immediately recognized the hoof beats of the chariot being driven by Nala. She sent a maid to inquire who had arrived and was informed that it was King Ritupurana and his Chief chef. Dhamayanthi then asked her maid to smuggle some food item made by the chef and to her surprise she found out it was her husband Nala disguised. Throwing all the decorum to the winds she ran down to meet her husband and was stunned to see a dwarf. She asked "Why does a man want to send his dutiful wife back to her father's home?"

The man replied "Because he has lost his kingdom and cannot support his wife in the manner she was accustomed to before their marriage". 

Dhamayanthi's lotus red eyes began to shed tears and that is when Nala showed his original form to relieve her from distress. She then said "It is not the customs that make a wife happy but being with her husband in the good and bad". 

And then they lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!! 

Through the bars

   Not often do we expect some of our usual days to turn into heavy hearted ones. It was one such day when I went to my nearest pet shop to buy dog food for my pet. When I came out of the shop there was this little guy all alone inside the cage, with eyes full of expectations and sadness that is hidden deep inside the attractive eyes. His voice was a sharp cry that made me go down to him. I put my finger through the bars for his reach and he licked them. I don't know what he wanted to convey but I understood the deprived feeling of a 45 day old pup who aches for nothing but a mother's love. He looked for love outside the bars where people starred at him for a while and moved on but he looked into every eyes that passed against him with the belief of getting adopted. 

Isn't it mysterious to see how this little creature can love an entirely different being so much that he places them before his self? Dogs are indeed the angels sent by God to make the humans learn how trust actually looks like. Opening our arms to these furry ones and opening our heart to these dolls is a blessing in disguise to get drenched in the love of these species. The love they bestow on us is indeed an act of selfless love that every individual has to experience. They teach a lot of things that we humans fail to understand or has left them behind on the journey towards the 'fast-nothing'. 

 

He would be adopted by someone who is immensely blessed to have him around because he'll give them love that will last a lifetime and even beyond. Dogs and their selfless love will have a greater impact that anything else will ever do. I often wonder if I'm the only one who marvel the love that dogs share with us. May be because I am touched solely by their love, I feel myself blessed to be love by them; to be in love with them. I firmly believe that "Sometimes angles choose fur instead of wings". 

The story of Sita and Ram..!!!

How to start? Where to start? It has been weeks together since I fell in love with their love story and still crawling my way towards reality. The story of Ram and Sita…what a love story it has been. The way they both understood each other and how intensely in love they both were. It was magical as it made me spell bound to even not to think about it. But why am I writing this now? Everyone one knows how dear they were to each other. I am writing this because I am not convinced by the way the story has ended, the way how Ram has abandoned Sita for the sake of his people and how Sita left handing over her sons Lava and Kusa to Ram to rule. No! This is not how a perfect love story could have ended, I wish I could change it but I know I can’t so here I am writing their end in the way I want it to be. 

After all the twist and turns the fate has put before them they overcame all those struggles with the power of their love. Sita accompanied him anywhere without a question, she just wanted to be with him no matter what. To her it doesn’t matter to starve to death or to live to the fullest but to be with him-Ram. If not for him she will not be living any of this. On the other hand Ram never failed to reciprocate the selfless love Sita gave him. He loved her more than anyone in the entire world. They were complete with each other; they were everything they could ever ask for. 

 

        They came to Ayodhya after the killing of Ravan and were all set to rule the Kingdom (this is where my version of Ramayana begins). It was one fine evening when Ram was repeatedly exclaiming his love to Sita; she sat mesmerized into his velvet voice. She then looked into his eyes as he held her face in his hands, she said she is pregnant and Ram could not control the excitement of this news and could not wait to tell his mothers about it. When they all knew it was time for Sita to spend her maternity period at her father’s. But she said “Being with Ram gives me happiness that cannot be contemplated by anyone else and I want to spend my maternity days with him, under the warmth of his love and embrace”.

           

        Everyone remained awestruck to accept the fact how hard it was for them to live without each other even for a minute. But Ram was informed about the discontent and questions targeted on Sita among the populace. Ram fought through the whole situation himself and decided to abandon the Kingdom by leaving the throne to Bharat-his younger brother. He did not want the people to abuse his family; he hardly felt the necessity of justifying Sita’s virtue to them for he knows who she really is. All he wanted was to give her everything she deserves and doesn’t want Sita to know all this. He didn’t sleep properly that night and it was when he realized the real complications of the issue for he knows that his brothers will not take up the throne. Their brotherhood was so delicate that he could not break their hearts, yet he cannot imagine losing Sita at the price of the people who hardly knows the sacrifice she has done for him. 

        As the Sun rose for a new day Ram has made up his mind for a new beginning. Instead of discussing he ordered his brothers to take up the throne and has said that he has decided to leave the kingdom for some time and it is their duty to take care of the throne after him. He didn’t even bother asking Sita to leave the Kingdom for he knows she will not even ask ‘Where’ when he takes her with him. She trusted him with her life. She was happy to spend her time with Ram; no matter where he has decided to take her she was happy about it. 

 

        They left Ayodhya and reached a place where people are not aware of their identity. He served a sage while Sita took care of the households. Though the sage was aware of who they were he never revealed it, he felt blessed to have them around his place no matter what the reason is. It was their happy place, she could not ask for a better maternity time. After a long time Ram felt relieved about all his decisions. After 9 months Sita gave birth to adorable twins and they named them lava and Kusa. Once they turned 6 Ram and Sita decided to send them to Rishi Valmiki’s hermitage. It was there they both learned about the life of Ram and Sita and was unaware they were the children of Ram and Sita. They both were fluent in dictating the life of Ram and Sita and hence were taken to Ayodhya to spread the story. It was there Lakshman, Bharat and Chatrukan grew suspicious of the irresistible serenity in their eyes, they were sure about the resemblance the twins had. 

 

        On enquiring they came to know about their parents and wanted to visit them and in the mean time the people of Ayodhya realized their fault and were desperate for Ram’s reign. When the brothers met Ram and Sita they were happy together. It was magical to see them both responding to each other like a magnet, there was no way Ram could live without Sita. They both together made them alive and without any one the other will be lifeless. Lakshman and his brothers requested their brother and Sita to come and rule the Kingdom again clarifying that the people of Ayodhya has realized their mistake and want him to rule them over. But Ram said he is content in living his life with Sita and now he has his brothers to take good care of their sons. He said “Lakshman, Bharat, Chatrukan you all are great rulers and it is of no question to know that the people are prosperous in your kingdom. But for me I am done being a ruler and now I handle over to you the greatest blessing of our lives Lava and Kusa, it is your responsibility to preach them well . We both have decided to leave this town and we are happy this way”.

        They both were really happy that way, he never abandoned her, what she would have become if he has abandoned her? Is there a possibility for Sita to live without him? They covered their identity and lived happily ever after while the brothers waited for Lava and Kusa to attain the age to take up the throne and even they followed their brother to eternity. The love they both had for each other fought destiny and has faced all the possible odds. It is humanly impossible to describe the amount of love they had for each other, I have no idea what they both have done to me but I am glad that I happened to read their story. Ram is often praised for being a great ruler but it is a notable fact that he was also a passionate lover and only he knows how much Sita meant to him.

 

And she's gone forever...!

 

I met her for the first time during my college first year and till now I can say with pride that she was and will be the most beautiful dog I have ever met. She was pitch black with wavy fur that gives her an angelic beauty…she was an abandoned dog! I still feel sorry for her old masters as they failed to experience the love she showered at me for the past 4 years. I was fond of her and so does she. Everyone in my home except my own pet (Sofrina) liked her. Even though she wasn’t fluffy she was healthy. My fellow street mates treated her as an ugly stray and acted as if their regular routine is getting spoiled because of her. And the scum bag of my street owned a dog which he takes to walk every morning and he said that presence of a stray in our street makes it difficult for his pet to have a walk. They complained that she was infected. But she wasn’t. She was as healthy as a dog can be. She was just desperate of love.

But they all were aware that I will not listen to their crap and was even ready to file a complaint against them if anything happens. So yes they despised me which was obvious. My mom and I fed her everyday and it was her who embraced me every evening as I walk to my home. Her love made me feel full. I named her ‘Puppy’ and every time I call her she waggles her tail as if she has met the love of her life which makes me irresistible to hug her. When it was middle of November, comes a really big trouble when all the male dogs come around her in the nastiest way. And again my street lords will create havoc and I always wanted to shout out to them but stopped by my mom who convinces me to stay out of the trouble. As a result of the hard work done by the male dogs she gets pregnant and again no one really cares about giving her some healthy food but would want her to guard the street at nights. 

 

As usual it was my mom who took extra care for her during her pregnancy and gave her shelter under our car shed. As soon as she gives birth to the beautiful pups the people who hardly turned towards her will come running for the pups. And the innocent Puppy will not even grin at those who take pups from her. And within 30 days all the pups will be gone and she will be abandoned like before. So again the beauty yearns for the love she will never get. Every day when I return I made it sure I will meet her and let her feel the warmth of love. We grew a bond that could never be named; I don’t know if she loved me because I loved her or in the other way round. But the love was so pure that made me to thank the eternity every day. She loved me the way I am and so did I. Days passed by and the love between us grew thicker than before, and as for her life is concerned she met another dog who is much more loyal than Puppy herself. He was another stray named ‘Jimmy’, the most expressive fellow of all the worlds. From then every evening became endearing with hand full of love at my very door step. Jimmy use to jump high and hug me from my waist and at times it makes me stumble and I wonder if it is his love that makes me weak to stand at my feet. 

Life could never be more blessed than having dogs around and getting drenched in the purest form of love every now and then. But there is this eternity ‘Time’ that got jealous of me and my loves. Some times what we unexpected the most happens making us understand that ‘nothing lasts forever’. But I wasn’t prepared to face this…at this time. The time we spent together was too small comparing to the approximate life span of both human and dog. I know I could not have a forever with her but still I wanted more. One early morning by last week my dad got a phone call from one of our neighbor saying that Puppy was found dead in the road…and he suggested that she would have been hit by a car. I found my heart beating faster at my throat …in an abnormal way. I don’t know…I can’t think of this and this is not how I thought the ending would be.

          

                  

      God could never be crueler. How can he do this to me? How can he do this to Jimmy? How am I going to face him? What will I ever do without her love? Who will love me as much as she does? Thousands of questions ran through my head as tears flowed down my cheeks. I was lost and was too naïve to believe that she is really gone. GONE. FOREVER. I went to face Jimmy who was looking for Puppy but fortunately her remains were cleaned off that made him think that she went somewhere rather than dead. This could make him go for a day but what will he do for the rest of his life. They both were so affectionate that made me wonder if they were really dogs. He sure will cry to me one day looking right into my eyes with questions that I will never have the answers. She was an angel in my life, an angel who loved me and made me love her more than anything. This bond remains unbroken for it has only beginning and no end. She will remain forever in my memories leaving her paw prints in my heart. But now she is gone…gone forever.