I believe I was 18 when I realized that the obsession I have towards a particular band was called "fangirling", I have never been bothered about "labels" but saying out loud that I love them felt liberating. I am not sure if i could ever put it into words on how they made me feel. I use to be a very private person, meaning I don't enjoy being around people unless the situation demands for it, in my solitude- they were my companions, they were my dream boys and they put a standard for everything around me. But I don't think I can ever write about them without tearing up, for I remember the number of days and nights I woke up and went to bed by just listening to their voice. They were my painkillers! I was entirely heart broken when Zayn announced that he will be quitting the band despite of him being my most favorite, I cannot stand to watch them fall apart. And how as soon as they broke up, 4 AM came live and "History" makes more sense to the ones in this fandom than anyone else. I remember having it on my loop for months straight and crying my eyes out every time it played "You and Me, we got a whole lot of history! So don't let it go"! And a soon as they broke up I literally stopped fan Girling for years! If you have never been obsessed with anything, you can never relate to this blog! For me, personally - I don't do "Love" , I do "Obsession" - my sickness, you could say!
And that is one of the main reasons why I can't multitask, whether it is an activity or relationships or music bands in this case. Even before One D, I have been and still a proud Swiftie but TS is someone I can always relate to and One D is something that makes me smile whenever I bawl like a baby! So after they broke up, I didn't have a point of obsession for quite some time until this boy band happened. I had no idea that they existed until the 2020 Grammy's, their screen time was less than their song duration but they never failed to made the impression they intended to. I then started listening to their songs, more than the songs it was their bond and the way they express themselves that made me start to obsess over them.
It was very recently that I got the chance to learn about their journey and I don't think I ever wanted to support or be loyal to some music band ever in my whole life. "They deserve the universe" to quote their ARMY, is definitely not an overrated statement. It has been almost a decade since my fan-gurling has started and in this journey with both the boy bands what I noticed is that, they both had (and BTS still does) haters more than they had supporters at some point of their journey... I couldn't help wonder and admire the drive they had to move forward with literally no goal ahead of them! Like the probability of next live show was a huge question, then talk about the goal to win an award! And BTS has it worse then One D, they were shamed, mocked and silenced ! But they rose up against all the odds.
Being someone who strongly believes in Gender Expressions, Neutrality and Passion, I admire these boys for normalizing a lot of things- from crying on stage to boldly wearing make up! And I really hate it when some imbeciles question their Gender Orientation based on their Gender Expression, when will we ever understand that Gender Orientation is a very private affair? And they are artists, it is high time we admire their art, be happy because of their art, have their art as our companion during our darkest days irrespective of the label we give them based on their color, language and race!
As much as BTS ARMY is overrated right now, I certainly do not undermine it or mock it because they are the people who has seen their favorite band grow through the struggle. We will never understand how it feels, so it is better if we don't mock them over it! I love both the boy bands and they are very close to my heart because I have a thing for boys who are passionate about what they do !! And also, calling dibs on Zayn from One D since 2013 and Jin from BTS since 2021! From "You don't know you are beautiful" to "My Universe"- thank you for making me believe that I deserve better and that I am beautiful and that I can smile even after crying !! Love you and Saranghae!
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