Queen of Solitude

Death is inevitable, but it is not her death that made me cry. It was her life, the journey…it was not a trail of flowers but of thorns. Never did she reveal that…may be it is the way she kept her secrets has made her strong. And now after she has fallen everyone reveals the JAYALALITHA they know. But who is she? Only she knows. Born as Kommalavalli, grown as Jayalalitha the world knew nothing about her. The world saw her as a leader, a successful leader, a beautiful actress but that is not all. One entire state is flooded with tears for this woman, they cry out to her calling her “AMMA” , yes as she says she has lived to her saying  “மக்களால் நான் ; மக்களுக்காகவே நான்”.

She really did inspire a lot, for her bravery, for her determination for everything she is made of. And to me personally I wish I could listen to “ஜே ஜெயாலலிதா என்னும் நான்” this in her roaring voice once again. But why am I writing this? This is not a eulogy, a confession may be.  A woman of such stature, such brilliance…has lived a life she didn’t chose. Little do I know about her personal life before her dismissal. She lost her father at the age of 2, mother at the age of 22, her political mentor at the age of 35 and her brother at the age of 45. Solitude chose her, and now they say she wanted to live a life peacefully. Did she? May be no. How cruel can one’s life be? She didn’t have a father to pick her up when she began to walk…she didn’t have her mother to share her heart breaks with…to sleep on her lap when she is tired. She did not have a brother to give shoulder to her troubles neither did she have sister to share her smiles with, or a husband to share her dreams and struggles with, or a son to hold her when she fell ill, or a daughter to stand by her side and to call her as “AMMA”.

It is these things about this mysterious woman made the tears roll down my cheeks. She is strong, she is invincible but to die in a foreign land with none of her kith and kin by her side bothers me. A woman of this bravery may not need anyone, but wouldn’t had she wish she had her mother alive? I wonder. She would have, and that is why she has said “ஒரு தாய்க்கு தான் தெரியும் தன் பிள்ளைகளுக்கு என்ன வேண்டும் என்று” (only a mother knows what her children needs). She has been a successful mother. And now she has gone to be with hers. Women like her come to earth once in a thousand years for the path they walk could not be travelled by fragile souls like us. The Iron Lady is gone…forever.